2 More

I can not get enough of these.  I think I have warmed up to the idea enough where it has gotten my creative juices flowing where now I'm trying to think of crazier, stupider ideas to photograph Em's belly.  She isn't aware of my ambition yet....but even if she isn't completely "for" the idea....she has to sleep sometime.  (And she has been known to sleep through fire alarms.)

Feel free to share any ideas in the comments section of possible scenarios where Em's belly could be photographed.

What To Expect When You're Expecting (Part 3)

This is my last post in regards to the movie "What to Expect When You're Expecting", I promise.

In the movie, Brooklyn Decker plays one of the pregnant women.  However, while everyone else is struggling with different pregnancy symptoms, she is experiencing none of those things and still looks like the swimsuit model that she is in real life.  Because of the relatively ease of her pregnancy, the other women find her slightly annoying because she is just too perfect. 

I have to say.....Emily is my little Brooklyn Decker.

Just like in the movie, many women deal with things such as cankles, swollen feet, bloating, backne, pains of all sorts, morning sickness, etc, etc, etc.....

Emily just simply loves being pregnant, and she has taken to pregnancy much like Brooklyn has in the movie.  She has experienced none of the above symptoms (or if she has....I don't know about it.)

I just hope her delivering the baby is just as easy as it was for Brooklyn in the movie.  (I won't spoil it just in case you still want to see the movie after my 3 posts.)

What To Expect When You're Expecting (Part 2)

Growing up, my mom (and sisters) constantly reminded me of the differences between men & women.  Aside from the obvious diferences, some of the ones they would convey to me are the differences in entertainment, movies, and humor.  (I'm speaking generally here.  Obviously, there are women who like "guy-type" movies and vice versa.)

Since Chad & I were the 2 youngest (and the only males in the family), we didn't exactly get our way when it came to television or movie watching. 

I have seen just about every musical made, and (as much as it kills me to admit) can sing just about all of the songs.  We really didn't have the opportunity to watch sports as a kid unless the TV wasn't being watched at that time by one of my older sisters. 

My mom also informed us that humor was much different.  Some of the things we (Chad & I) found funny....was not embraced as being funny by my mom and sisters.  Specifically.....farts.  In fact, my mom wouldn't even allow us to use that word.  (I'm sure I'll be getting a phone call from her once she reads this post telling me that I shouldn't use that word.)  The word she used (and forced us to use) was "stinker". 

I tell you all that to make this point:

Girls do not find "slapstick" or "potty" humor to be funny.  EXCEPT......when the movie is about babies.

I would get grounded if I used the word "fart" growing up, and if I laughed at a fart joke on tv as a kid, my mom might give me "the look".  However, I was in a movie theatre filled with women (and maybe 2 dudes) howling with laughter regarding the following things:

• Water breaking on hospital floor and people slipping on it
• Pregnant women accidentally farting (or stinkering.....if my mom is reading this.)
• Accidental urination
• Backne (Acne on your back)
• Etc......

I guess I feel a tad bit justified.  Women can laugh at the same things that Chad & I laughed at growing up.  They just need a baby intertwined in the story.

What To Expect When You Are Expecting (Part 1)

It was absolutely inevitable.  

As soon as Em heard that they were turning the book "What To Expect When You Are Expecting" into a movie, it was a given that we would be seeing it.  We saw it tonight.  

I have so many observations from this movie that this post will at least be a 2-parter.....if not more.  

For starters, here was the expression on Emily's face for at least 95% of the movie:

In contrast, here was my look for 100% of the movie:

I'm not saying that the movie was terrible, but I'm also not saying that this movie should reserve seats at the Oscars.  They shouldn't. 

I get why this movie is popular with females.  I really do.  But I have so many other questions that need to be asked.

For example:  When a child is born (or maybe even when their wife is pregnant), do men automatically stop being manly?  Does being a good dad require being a passive "yes" man?  If Hollywood's examples in this movie has any say to it, then the answer is a resounding yes. 

Your "manly" options in this movie include, A) a man who allows his wife to buy all new baby items, a new house, and a trip to Africa to adopt a baby, despite the fact she just lost her job and they can't afford it, B) a man who plays 2nd fiddle to both his legendary, retired NASCAR driver father AND his wife, or C) a group of men who meet every Saturday to walk their kids who take this weekly opportunity to be honest with their feelings because they fear the retribution they will receive if they were to tell their wives the truth of how they feel.

Was it funny?  Sure.  But in a sad sort of way.....at least to me.

(To be honest, the movie was ok.  I just like to overly disect these types of movies to annoy people.) 

Just wait for Part 2 of this blog entry.......

I'm Not THAT Guy!

You've seen him.  I've seen him.  He can't hide.  He's at every mall.  He's at your church.  You see him everywhere....hiding in plain site.  He wishes he could completely blend into the wall, but he can't.  Some of you maybe have been "him". 

Who am I talking about?

This guy.

It's "Feminine Diaper Bag Guy".

Each one of them has the same look on his face.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's the blank stare into nowhere hoping that if he doesn't make eye contact with anyone...nobody will see him.  It doesn't work.  He is in physical pain from the agony of losing his masculinity for all to see.

This won't be me.

Laugh at me all you want.  Make any comment you want.  (The comments section is always open.)  But I took the plunge and purchased my very own diaper bag to guarantee that the trauma that has afflicted so many of my comrades...will not happen to me.

Here are photos of my most recent purchase......arriving this week:

I can smell the jealousy on all of you dads (brother-n-laws included) who didn't have the foresight that I did to find such a stylish, manly diaper bag. 

Life is good.

32 Weeks

We're on the home stretch.  Seems like just yesterday that Em was at just 28 weeks along. 

Go Ahead and Call Me a Liar

I can't help myself.  I know I promised that I wouldn't post anymore pregnancy pictures, but I am anyway. 

It isn't like I seek these types of pictures out, but ever since Em got pregnant I see these pictures everywhere.  I'm obsessed.  Do people think this looks good?  Does this lady have this picture in a frame displayed at her home?  How does the child feel about this work of "art" once he/she is old enough to have an opinion?  I need to know the answers to these questions and more. 

Just to be clear, I'm not saying that all pregnancy photos are horrible.  I'm saying the types of pictures that I have posted are a disaster. 

Not A Great Advertising Campaign

Emily was reading a Baby Bjorn baby carrier brochure and looked at some of the pictures that it had of the product.  She blurted out to me, "How am I supposed to get my husband to wear this product when these are the pictures of guys wearing it?"

I couldn't agree more.

I'm fairly certain these photos won't deter me (too much).  If I were a betting man, I'd put money on me wearing this product at some point.  (I just won't look nearly as fashionable as the guys above.)

I'm On A Roll

For some reason I've been inspired this week.  I can't explain it, but I've been getting more ideas for my blog than I usually do recently, so I've been posting them.  A few weeks ago, I had a great idea for a post but I decided to save it for later in the week because I just completed one the day before.  Needless to say, I completely forgot what I was going to write....and haven't remembered it since.  (I'm convinced that it would've been my blogging masterpiece.)

Here is a list (not comprehensive at all) of things never to say/ask a pregnant woman.  A few of these have been told/asked to Em, but she has a pretty good sense of humor about these things.  She just comes home and tells me about it so both of us can laugh at what people will say.

Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

-Is it twins?

-You still have 2 months left?!?!

-You’re so lucky that you’re carrying it all up front.

-You look like you’re ready to burst!

-Ooooh, look! You have (insert pregnancy ailment).

-Wow!  You sure were hungry.

-Do twins run in your family?

-I know the producer of “The Biggest Loser”.  I’ll put you in touch.

-Can I touch it?  (Although that is slightly more acceptable than just groping a belly.)

-Is it mine?

-Were you trying or was it a surprise?

-My epidural didn’t work.  I was cut open from here to here.

-Now you’ll know what you put me through.  (For the record, Nancy did not say this to Em.)

-You’re naming her Gertie?  I had a friend named Gertie…..she’s an ex-con.

-How much weight have you gained?

-Oh!  You have more zits than usual….you must be having a girl.

-How long were you guys trying?

Hope you enjoyed them.  (And here is a picture of a large pregnant belly....so you won't confuse Em's belly as "large".)  ;o)

Cap'n Obvious

As I've stated in previous entries, our little boy will be the 1st boy grandchild for Em's parents.  Because of that, Em hasn't had a lot of experience changing boy's diapers.  (Full disclosure......I don't have much experience at all changing diapers.) 

To quote Captain Obvious, "Things are a little different when it comes to boys and girls."

If we are lucky enough to have a photo like this during our newborn photo session, you can be sure that I'll post it on here.

Another Huge Thank You!

There have been a few times in my life when the generosity shown to me and/or my family has overwhelmed me.  This has to be one of those times.

Emily just got back from her trip out to Nebraska for her work trip and to visit her family.  While she was out there, her family threw her another baby shower.  As Em started unpacking from her trip she showed me item after item that she received as gifts from this trip.  I'm not sure what Emily was thinking as she was showing me these items because I didn't say much, but I think I was truly speechless.  

I just remember seeing different items coming out of a suitcase and me thinking to myself, "Wow! I wouldn't have thought of buying that.  That would be handy.", or "That is really cute."  (And I don't use the word "cute" very often at all.)

Emily's sisters (Ang & Gen) and her mom & dad deserve a big thank you from me.  They really made Em's day (if not week, month, or longer).  It really means a lot to me that so much love was shown to my wife and I by you all.  Everyone that was there really came through in a big way and made her (and me) feel so special. 

Thank you to all of you!!!

Here is a picture I took a just a few of the items that we received as gifts from this trip.  (If you don't see a gift from you, I apologize.  Blame me....not Emily.  I just took several items in hand for the picture.  We received many more gifts than this.  (Please note that even the blankets underneath were gifts.)

Thinking back on the beginning of this journey (of pregnancy), I remember thinking to myself that I need to start saving a lot more than I already have been doing because of all of the costs of new baby.  I thought that because we lived so far away now and because most of our friends live in different states that baby showers probably would not be possible.  Boy, was I wrong. 

Thank you all for not only the great baby stuff, but for making Em & I feel so loved.  Thank you.

My New Favorite Show

Our son is roughly about 2 1/2 months away from arriving, but I'm already trying to think of witty sayings I can offer as advice to the young man as he grows up.  In my opinion, things become much more memorable if the advice you give them is humorous or said in an unforgettable way.  I can imagine incidents that demand such statements like, "We're gonna need to be like a dwarf at a urinal......on our toes."  Which brings me to one of my new favorite TV shows:

Duck Dynasty.

This is a show about a family in Louisiana who are self-proclaimed "red necks" who started a duck call business 40 years ago and have turned it into a multi-million dollar business.  The show focuses around a few main characters of the family:  Willie - he is the younger son (of the ones focused on the show) and he is the CEO of the business.  He turned the business from a living room operation to the largest duck call business in the world.  Phil - he is Willie's father and the one who started this business 40 years ago by inventing a better duck call.  Jase - he is Willie's brother and the main duck call designer today. 

I tell you all the above so that what I will share next makes sense.  Here are some quotes from one of the episodes.  In this episode Willie finds out that his 14 year old daughter (Sadie) has a boyfriend (Beau) and is going with him to her 1st dance.  Needless to say, he isn't that excited about that thought, so he decides to "get to know" Beau by taking him hunting with his brother Jase and himself. 

-“I learned the art of being oblivious to chatter.” (Phil talking about being with his wife alone in a boat for the day.)

-“Being youthful is dangerous when it comes to love.  Their young, and they’re moving too rapidly.” (Phil after just finding out his granddaughter was going to a dance.)

-“There is a thin line between insanity and coping with your daughter dating.” (Jase talking about Willie’s actions while taking Beau out hunting “to get to know him”.)

-The 4 things Phil found out about  Beau from Sadie that made him feel good about Beau:  1) Gets good grades  2) Godly man  3) He’s a hunter, and 4) he’s the quarterback.

-“If his lips have to be on something I made…I’d rather it be a duck call.”  (Willie after giving Beau a brand new duck call when Beau came by to pick up Sadie for the dance.)

-“As a father, there’s nothing that makes me happier than seeing a smile on my daughter’s face, and fear in her boyfriend’s eyes.” (Willie)

I think the main thing I took away from this particular show is that if I ever am blessed to have a daughter.....I''m taking up hunting.

The Look

So, I was recently informed that my -2.5 month old (note the negative sign) son has "a look".  Emily came home recently and told me of our son's "style". 

Honestly, I don't really remember exactly what she said after that.  I was a little too shocked that our kid (pre-birth) had already decided what he wanted to wear.....but evidently that is something that a fetus communicates with his mom prior to birth.

I'm not sure if the "look" our kid is craving is preppy, goth, neo-classical, or old man.  All I know is that whatever I buy him...will probably be wrong.  Ahhh the wonders of fatherhood.....

I will look forward to the day that he grows up and looks back at the pictures that we have of him in his "look" and he either A) makes fun of us for putting him in such ridiculous outfits, or B) is completely embarassed by the stuff we put him in.   (Because we all know that know matter how much money is spent on clothes now.....in 10-15 years....it will be completely out of fashion and look ridiculous.)  That's the nature of how we live as Americans.  Styles change. 

I know Emily is looking forward to dressing him.  That can't be denied. And we will have fun dressing him. But no matter what we dress him up in....one thing will be a certainty.....he will be wearing a heavy dose of OSU.  (I won't apoligize for that.)

Riding a Bike

This week I was thinking quite a bit about all of the things that I get to teach D'Qwell as he gets older.  Here are just a few of the things that crossed my mind:

-Tying his shoes
-How to hit (baseball)
-How to watch football
-Manners
-and of course...How to Ride a Bike

I started thinking back on my own bike riding beginnings.  I didn't have the adult figure with a hand on the back of my seat running along beside me as I learned.  No.  I had the sage advice from my sister (Leah), "ride your bike close to the grass so when you fall...you can aim for the grass".  I swear that I was loved.....(I think).

Part of me likes the fact that I learned on my own.  It taught me independence and gave me self confidence.  I want to instill those traits in my son too, but I think I'll be a little more hands on then my loving sister.