What Kind of Dad Will I Be?

I wonder how many dads-to-be have asked themselves that?  I'd bet that, unless you've been a guest on the Jerry Springer show, then you have wondered something similar.

 

Thinking back in my life, there are several "types" of dads that I've witnessed myself.  One of my friends dads was like his best friend.  He was always there to offer a hand, help start a campfire, or tell ghost stories of a made-up type of scary feline that roamed near their house (wombus cat.  I'll never forget it.)  Another friend of mine had a dad that was completely sports oriented and everything was a competition.  Their basement had a ping pong table, pool table, and outside they had 3 basketball hoops, and a full length soccer field. 

I find myself thinking a lot about different experiences I've had in my life with many different fathers.  I find myself hoping I obtain certain attributes....and likewise, certain attributes that I've witnessed I hope that I do not reflect in my own personal style. 

This next part....is pretty difficult to type.  I found myself staring at the computer screen until the screen went into screen saver mode because I was unable to make myself push the appropriate keys.  Somehow, it becomes just a little more "real" once my thoughts are in print.   But if I'm going to truly use this blog as a picture into my warped mind.....I have to be honest throughout this process. 

My biggest fear in this endeavor is that I will prove inadequate or unprepared for the task of being a good father.  What if the examples of fathers in my life become the blueprint for what I become?  Is it possible to not become something even though that is the main example you have had growing up? 

I'd like to belive that I can see the negatives of fatherhood in my life and use them as examples of what not to do as a father myself.  But is that truly possible?  That brings us back to the old argument of Nurture vs Nature.  Which is more important to behavior?  I pray that nurture wins out in this particular aspect. 

I hope and pray my fears are unsubstantiated.  I also believe that having a healthy fear will keep me from not growing complacent in raising this boy.  I really want the best for him (and that means he won't be a Husker fan.......I really had to lighten the mood in this entry.  I feel like a few of you were falling a sleep, or already clicked over to Awkward Family Photos.com). 

All I can do is to promise that I will do my best in raising my son as well as the following:

-I will always try to be present (unless the Buckeye game is on).
-I will always try to show him right from wrong.
-He will always be loved.
-I will always try to teach him and share with him the wonder of learning.
-I will always try to show him a good example for what a father (and husband) should be.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me.......and I can't wait to start!