Skin

It shouldn't be a surprise to any of you that there have been rumors (for as long as I can remember) that I am part African-American.  Now that doesn't mean that I am calling into question whether my dad is my dad.   Having said that, I will remind you all of a story:

In my freshman year of college, after basketaball practice one day, one of my teammates and I were shooting around and talking.  He was a very big, African-American guy who was very proud of his heritage.  (He was 6'6" -- but with his afro he was 6'11".)  We were talking about several things and he abruptly asked me, "So, how much of a brother our you?"  I have been asked similar questions in the past and never gave a straight answer.  However, in this situation, I told the truth.  I told him, "Honestly, all of my heritage is northern European."  He actually got a little mad at me because he felt I wasn't embracing my heritage....at least the portion that was so apparent to him.  He told me very matter of factly, "D, I can tell you are at least 1/4 black for 3 reasons:  A) You are darker than me (I had just gotten back from a beach vacation, and was very dark.), B) Your hair is not 'white boy hair' (I have no excuse for that.) ,and C) You can jump out of the gym."  (I paraphrased the last one.)

I guess what I'm saying is that you can never be 100% sure what is in your blood  from centuries past.  My mom has even shown me photos of my grandma's mother.  Her hair was just like mine.  However, all that means is that "something" may have happened prior to that time period.  Who knows?  (Hindsight:  I probably shouldn't have confronted my mom one day and demanded to know who my real father was.  jk)

I recently watched an interesting movie about this very topic.  It's based on a true story in South Africa.  Two white parents (unaware of their black ancestory) give birth to a black child.  This is in a time in South Africa where segregation is a huge deal.  She basically is driven out of "white society" and for the next 30 years lives as the black people do.  The story is a 30 year journey from rejection to acceptance, betrayal to reconciliation all while she tries to find her own place in her world.  I recommend it.

I even talked to Em about this the other day, and asked her what she would do if she gave birth to a black baby.  I guess what I'm trying to say with this blog entry is this:  No matter what color our baby is, whatever health concerns they may or may not have, whatever the baby might be.....I can't wait to be the dad.........even if it's a girl.

16 Weeks

Through The Eyes of Others

It’s no real secret that I love movies.  I love everything about them.  It’s more than just the story that the filmmaker is trying to convey that I watch the movie for (although that is a large part of it).  I love how a gifted actor can transform themselves and give a convincing performance as someone else.  I love the idea that someone might be so passionate about a project that they devote themselves for (in many cases) years to get their project, financed, written, casted, and produced.  And many of these projects never get the notoriety or even get into a theatre on a national basis.  That’s amazing to me. 

If there is something I like more than watching movies by myself, it’s watching a movie again with someone who has never seen it before.  I love seeing the movie that I enjoyed through the eyes of someone who is experiencing it for the 1^st time.  Watching someone’s eyes and reaction knowing that the monster is going to jump out of the closet any second is magical for me.  And it doesn't have to be just scary movies.  Knowing that a particularly poignant or emotional scene is coming up and witnessing the viewers reaction to it is great. 

In just a few short months, I will be able to have that with my new son/daughter.  I really look forward to seeing things through his/her eyes….and not just with movies.  Going to the zoo, ballpark, the beach, church, and every experience that we may see as trivial or mundane is going to be a new experience for him/her.  I can’t wait.

It's Pat!

I wrote a blog entry before about the reasons why Em and I will be finding out the sex of our baby prior to the delivery date.  I thought of another reason, and this reason is probably the biggest reason of all (except for Em's patience.  jk) 

Back in the early 90's, I would stay up late on Saturday nights to watch Saturday Night Live on my 13" black & white tv in my bedroom.  My friends and I would discuss that episode the entire following week at lunch.  It was a major conversation piece. 

One of my favorite SNL characters from that era was Pat.  The whole gag with the character Pat was that you couldn't tell whether Pat was a male (Patrick) or female (Patricia).  Pat would interact with a different person each time he/she had an episode.  They would inevitably try asking Pat questions to try to figure out his/her sex.  For example, one time a person just flat out asked in exasperation, "What is your name short for?"  Pat answered back, "Paaaaaaaaatttttttt".   Another time, Pat (whose last name was Riley) made the statement, "Yes, my name is Pat Riley.....the same as the coach of the Lakers.....except for one MAJOR difference...."  At this time, the person Pat is talking to thinks they figured it out, but can't help themselves and asks Pat, "What is the difference?"  To which Pat replies, "I'm not a coach of a professional basketball team!" 

I say all that to say this......I'm really getting tired of using 2 pronouns every time I am talking about my unborn child.  I don't know how people do it for 9 months.  It's killing me at week 14. 

I have been yelled at in the past (not necessarily by Em) when I have innocently referred to an unborn baby who we do not know the sex yet as "it".  I realize now that that is completely unacceptable language.  (You would think that if I said "it" about something that has not actually grown sexual organs that I might actually be accurate, but instead I would get looks like I threw out a slew of racial slurs.)  Clearly, that is not socially permissable. 

The only other option was to continue to use dual pronouns.  For example:  "Em & I are heading to the doctor's office to see if we can hear his/her heartbeat", or "This bedroom set is so adorable.  He/she is gonna love it!".  (How annoying is that?) 

I think to save time and energy, and also as a nod to my early SNL watching days I should just refer my unborn child as "Pat" until we find out the sex.   It's only about another month to 5 weeks before we find out the sex.  He/she should be able to live with the name Pat for that long.

I Married MacGyver

We all remember the show (at least the ones of us who are 30+).  MacGyver saved the day each week by somehow utilizing everyday objects and creating something extremely cool.  Find yourself in a jam that can only be solved with a rocket launcher?  If you’re MacGyver you only need 2 picture frames, an inner tube, and a bandaid.  The day is saved!

My wife just came downstairs proudly to show me her latest “invention”.  Remember, this is the woman who can’t kill a bug on her own, can’t set her favorite radio stations in the Jeep by herself, and who, famously, last summer came inside to ask for my help on turning the water spicket off.

However, today is a new day…..and by the looks of things the start of a new era.  Words can not do it justice….so thankfully, I had my camera close by.

I'm so proud of her!

To be fair, she did tell me that she could've buttoned them up, but she didn't want to squish the baby unnecessarily.

Tattoos: Don't Read This, Mom

I've been playing around with the idea of getting another tattoo for several years now.  Em even got me a gift certificate for a tattoo at a really nice tattoo place in Omaha when we used to live there that I haven't used yet.

I guess I'm very particular with choosing tattoos.  I like them, but there are many "rules" that I have for tattoos before they go on me:

-I have to like it now and believe I will like it in the future (won't go out of style)
-It has to be something meaningful to me
-I'd like it to be unique

I'm sure there are other rules too, but those are the most important ones.

I told Em that I might think about doing something to commemorate my children on my body.  I've thought about names or birth dates, but that seemed a little too "over done".  Then I thought that a great idea would be to tattoo their handprint (only 1) on me.  I thought that might be a nice, meaningful tattoo.  The problem arose recently when I googled pics of that same idea.  They didn't look good at all.  Do you agree?

  I am not as in love with the idea as I once was after seeing those (and others).  My other concern is that if Emily and I have multiple kids, I would feel like I need to do the same thing for all my kids.  That would be all well and good.....but I think my body would end up looking like the final scene of the Blair Witch Project.  And that's not a good thing....

So, I'm open to suggestions from all of you.  What is a great idea for a tattoo to commemorate my little one?

3 inches & and 1 ounce

I got a lot of feedback on my blog entry regarding my desire not to compare my unborn child to fruit.  I take it all back.  I would much rather that comparison than actually ruin a favorite food of mine. 

13 weeks and my unborn child is 3 inches long & weighs only 1 ounce.  Isn't that a much better way to describe him/her instead of "the size of a medium shrimp"?  I may never eat another shrimp again.  I really hope this feeling passes.  I really like to eat shrimp. 

I really hope they go back to fruit & vegetables to compare my son/daughter to.  I wouldn't feel nearly as bad of having to drop those from my diet.  With my luck, the next comparisons will be as follows:

- 4 oz filet mignon
- Half slab of bacon
- 4 inch square piece of lasagna
- Chicken (or turkey) drumstick
- Deep fried pads of butter
- Cheeseburger
- Cheese & onion pierogi
- Meatballs

That's one way to get me to lose weight......just compare any food you want to eat to your unborn child.  You'll never eat it again.

Raise a Child Right

Well, for those of you who are looking for the perfect baby gift.....I'm sorry to report that the perfect gift has been bought and is being shipped to us right now.  I'm sure there are plenty more Buckeye clothes, blankets, and other miscellaneous items for our child too.  This just had to be purchased asap.  Maybe I'm just excited for Saturday afternoons with another fan by my side. 

And for any of you fans of Nebraska, Iowa, or any other school that doesn't boast Urban Meyer as a coach, I invite you all over to my house for the indoctrination of my little bambino.  Maybe some of this will rub off on you. 
You'll thank me later.

Big Surprise!

One of the most popular questions we have been getting is "Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?"  The answer to that questions is Yes. 
The inevitable question that comes directly after that (from the person who would never find out early) is, "Don't you want to be surprised?"
I'm never rude when I answer that person, but I have to shake my head (to myself) in amazement.  Surprised?  Really?  Isn't it still only 2 options?  Girl or Boy?  I want to ask them in a very sarcastic way, "Have you ever flipped a coin and was SHOCKED by the outcome?"  Have you flipped a coin and heads came up and wondered aloud, "What kind of voodoo quarter is this?" 

Actually there are several reasons why we want to find out the sex:

1) Planning for baby room
2) Planning for baby toys/clothes/etc...
3) Deciding on names
and most importantly....
4) Em just doesn't have the patience for that.  (jk)

Spoiler Alert

For those of you who don't want to know what our child will look like.....do NOT read this entry.

One of my friends reminded me yesterday that a group (3 couples) of us all went to Dave & Busters several years ago.  While we were there, Em & I decided to get our picture taken in a photo machine and have it show us what our future child would look like.  (As you can tell by the photo, I had an amazing fu manchu  & pork chop side burns and I made a face into the camera to see if that would influence the outcome of what our child would look like.)  I think he turned out fairly cute given the travesty of what I looked like that day. 

Judge for yourself:

I guess the moral of the story is to rest easy, Em's genes will overcome the deficiencies in my own genes.

(Man, I really miss that fu manchu.  Maybe during my paternity leave I can regrow it.)

Questions

Ever since the cat got out of the bag, Em & I have been answering the same questions over and over.  Don't get me wrong, I have actually loved all the phone calls and texts and talking with so many people about it.  But there have been a hint of feeling like we are just answering the exact same questions over and over.  To help alleviate the monotony of answering the same questions I decided I would post the answers to the most popular questions we have been asked here.  I hope this helps.

Yes
Mid July
Yes
False
12 weeks
Yes
Boy
No
Last Thursday
Pumpernickel
Girl
Yes
No
End of February
No

Hope that clears up all the questions you have.  If you think of any other questions just ask. 

And thank you all again for all the wonderful calls, texts, etc...  It's really been wonderful to share this exciting news with all of you. 

Puts It All Into Perspective

My brother got his jar of Prego today.  After he called me to congratulate me & Em, he sent me the following text after he read the blog.  (I have to say that this text made my day.  From everything I've heard, Chad is a great dad -- and Jenna is a great mom.  I'm really proud of them.  I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his text.)  This text made my day.

Ur baby is the size of a lime right now but 1 year from now he or she will look like this.

How cute is my little nephew Jameson? 

As Big as a Lime?

Em & I are subscribed to a pregnancy site that e-mails you weekly with updates on how big the child is and what the development process is looking like each week.  It's fairly fascinating, however I just wish they would compare my child to something other than fruit. It isn't exacty the precedent I want to be set if in fact he is a boy. 

So far, he/she has been compared to a poppy seed, sesame seed, lentil, blueberry, kidney bean, grape, kumkwat, and a fig.  This week's comparison is a lime.  (I don't think they mean he/she is completely as big as a lime....I think the length of the lime -- 2 inches.) 

I guess there are worse things they could compare my child to, but let's try to steer away from fruit. 

Em's "Cravings" Part II

As most of you know, Em & I celebrated our 6 year anniversary last night (Dec 31st).  Instead of going out to eat, we decided to make crab legs at home.  I have never cooked crab legs and was particularly nervous about the whole situation.  I didn't know how much crab legs to buy?  (Is a lb. a person a good standard?)  I didn't know how to cook them or what way was the best.  I decided to go with steaming them.  And it worked out perfectly. 

I mentioned in an earlier blog about Em's "cravings" are everything she enjoyed before her pregnancy.....just more of it.  She "craves" ice cream, sour candy, twizzlers, and potato chips.  (If that menu is "cravings", I think 3/4 of America better get a pregnancy test.)  We have discovered Em's latest "craving".  Crab legs!!

In her defense.....they were delicious.