Skin

It shouldn't be a surprise to any of you that there have been rumors (for as long as I can remember) that I am part African-American.  Now that doesn't mean that I am calling into question whether my dad is my dad.   Having said that, I will remind you all of a story:

In my freshman year of college, after basketaball practice one day, one of my teammates and I were shooting around and talking.  He was a very big, African-American guy who was very proud of his heritage.  (He was 6'6" -- but with his afro he was 6'11".)  We were talking about several things and he abruptly asked me, "So, how much of a brother our you?"  I have been asked similar questions in the past and never gave a straight answer.  However, in this situation, I told the truth.  I told him, "Honestly, all of my heritage is northern European."  He actually got a little mad at me because he felt I wasn't embracing my heritage....at least the portion that was so apparent to him.  He told me very matter of factly, "D, I can tell you are at least 1/4 black for 3 reasons:  A) You are darker than me (I had just gotten back from a beach vacation, and was very dark.), B) Your hair is not 'white boy hair' (I have no excuse for that.) ,and C) You can jump out of the gym."  (I paraphrased the last one.)

I guess what I'm saying is that you can never be 100% sure what is in your blood  from centuries past.  My mom has even shown me photos of my grandma's mother.  Her hair was just like mine.  However, all that means is that "something" may have happened prior to that time period.  Who knows?  (Hindsight:  I probably shouldn't have confronted my mom one day and demanded to know who my real father was.  jk)

I recently watched an interesting movie about this very topic.  It's based on a true story in South Africa.  Two white parents (unaware of their black ancestory) give birth to a black child.  This is in a time in South Africa where segregation is a huge deal.  She basically is driven out of "white society" and for the next 30 years lives as the black people do.  The story is a 30 year journey from rejection to acceptance, betrayal to reconciliation all while she tries to find her own place in her world.  I recommend it.

I even talked to Em about this the other day, and asked her what she would do if she gave birth to a black baby.  I guess what I'm trying to say with this blog entry is this:  No matter what color our baby is, whatever health concerns they may or may not have, whatever the baby might be.....I can't wait to be the dad.........even if it's a girl.

16 Weeks

Through The Eyes of Others

It’s no real secret that I love movies.  I love everything about them.  It’s more than just the story that the filmmaker is trying to convey that I watch the movie for (although that is a large part of it).  I love how a gifted actor can transform themselves and give a convincing performance as someone else.  I love the idea that someone might be so passionate about a project that they devote themselves for (in many cases) years to get their project, financed, written, casted, and produced.  And many of these projects never get the notoriety or even get into a theatre on a national basis.  That’s amazing to me. 

If there is something I like more than watching movies by myself, it’s watching a movie again with someone who has never seen it before.  I love seeing the movie that I enjoyed through the eyes of someone who is experiencing it for the 1^st time.  Watching someone’s eyes and reaction knowing that the monster is going to jump out of the closet any second is magical for me.  And it doesn't have to be just scary movies.  Knowing that a particularly poignant or emotional scene is coming up and witnessing the viewers reaction to it is great. 

In just a few short months, I will be able to have that with my new son/daughter.  I really look forward to seeing things through his/her eyes….and not just with movies.  Going to the zoo, ballpark, the beach, church, and every experience that we may see as trivial or mundane is going to be a new experience for him/her.  I can’t wait.

It's Pat!

I wrote a blog entry before about the reasons why Em and I will be finding out the sex of our baby prior to the delivery date.  I thought of another reason, and this reason is probably the biggest reason of all (except for Em's patience.  jk) 

Back in the early 90's, I would stay up late on Saturday nights to watch Saturday Night Live on my 13" black & white tv in my bedroom.  My friends and I would discuss that episode the entire following week at lunch.  It was a major conversation piece. 

One of my favorite SNL characters from that era was Pat.  The whole gag with the character Pat was that you couldn't tell whether Pat was a male (Patrick) or female (Patricia).  Pat would interact with a different person each time he/she had an episode.  They would inevitably try asking Pat questions to try to figure out his/her sex.  For example, one time a person just flat out asked in exasperation, "What is your name short for?"  Pat answered back, "Paaaaaaaaatttttttt".   Another time, Pat (whose last name was Riley) made the statement, "Yes, my name is Pat Riley.....the same as the coach of the Lakers.....except for one MAJOR difference...."  At this time, the person Pat is talking to thinks they figured it out, but can't help themselves and asks Pat, "What is the difference?"  To which Pat replies, "I'm not a coach of a professional basketball team!" 

I say all that to say this......I'm really getting tired of using 2 pronouns every time I am talking about my unborn child.  I don't know how people do it for 9 months.  It's killing me at week 14. 

I have been yelled at in the past (not necessarily by Em) when I have innocently referred to an unborn baby who we do not know the sex yet as "it".  I realize now that that is completely unacceptable language.  (You would think that if I said "it" about something that has not actually grown sexual organs that I might actually be accurate, but instead I would get looks like I threw out a slew of racial slurs.)  Clearly, that is not socially permissable. 

The only other option was to continue to use dual pronouns.  For example:  "Em & I are heading to the doctor's office to see if we can hear his/her heartbeat", or "This bedroom set is so adorable.  He/she is gonna love it!".  (How annoying is that?) 

I think to save time and energy, and also as a nod to my early SNL watching days I should just refer my unborn child as "Pat" until we find out the sex.   It's only about another month to 5 weeks before we find out the sex.  He/she should be able to live with the name Pat for that long.

I Married MacGyver

We all remember the show (at least the ones of us who are 30+).  MacGyver saved the day each week by somehow utilizing everyday objects and creating something extremely cool.  Find yourself in a jam that can only be solved with a rocket launcher?  If you’re MacGyver you only need 2 picture frames, an inner tube, and a bandaid.  The day is saved!

My wife just came downstairs proudly to show me her latest “invention”.  Remember, this is the woman who can’t kill a bug on her own, can’t set her favorite radio stations in the Jeep by herself, and who, famously, last summer came inside to ask for my help on turning the water spicket off.

However, today is a new day…..and by the looks of things the start of a new era.  Words can not do it justice….so thankfully, I had my camera close by.

I'm so proud of her!

To be fair, she did tell me that she could've buttoned them up, but she didn't want to squish the baby unnecessarily.

Tattoos: Don't Read This, Mom

I've been playing around with the idea of getting another tattoo for several years now.  Em even got me a gift certificate for a tattoo at a really nice tattoo place in Omaha when we used to live there that I haven't used yet.

I guess I'm very particular with choosing tattoos.  I like them, but there are many "rules" that I have for tattoos before they go on me:

-I have to like it now and believe I will like it in the future (won't go out of style)
-It has to be something meaningful to me
-I'd like it to be unique

I'm sure there are other rules too, but those are the most important ones.

I told Em that I might think about doing something to commemorate my children on my body.  I've thought about names or birth dates, but that seemed a little too "over done".  Then I thought that a great idea would be to tattoo their handprint (only 1) on me.  I thought that might be a nice, meaningful tattoo.  The problem arose recently when I googled pics of that same idea.  They didn't look good at all.  Do you agree?

  I am not as in love with the idea as I once was after seeing those (and others).  My other concern is that if Emily and I have multiple kids, I would feel like I need to do the same thing for all my kids.  That would be all well and good.....but I think my body would end up looking like the final scene of the Blair Witch Project.  And that's not a good thing....

So, I'm open to suggestions from all of you.  What is a great idea for a tattoo to commemorate my little one?

3 inches & and 1 ounce

I got a lot of feedback on my blog entry regarding my desire not to compare my unborn child to fruit.  I take it all back.  I would much rather that comparison than actually ruin a favorite food of mine. 

13 weeks and my unborn child is 3 inches long & weighs only 1 ounce.  Isn't that a much better way to describe him/her instead of "the size of a medium shrimp"?  I may never eat another shrimp again.  I really hope this feeling passes.  I really like to eat shrimp. 

I really hope they go back to fruit & vegetables to compare my son/daughter to.  I wouldn't feel nearly as bad of having to drop those from my diet.  With my luck, the next comparisons will be as follows:

- 4 oz filet mignon
- Half slab of bacon
- 4 inch square piece of lasagna
- Chicken (or turkey) drumstick
- Deep fried pads of butter
- Cheeseburger
- Cheese & onion pierogi
- Meatballs

That's one way to get me to lose weight......just compare any food you want to eat to your unborn child.  You'll never eat it again.