Boy Names

For those of you who have been reading this blog since the beginning (or at least since we've made it public), Em & I had an agreement on the naming of the boy.  The short story is that if it is a boy, I get to select the name (with certain agreed upon provisions). 

I told myself (and no one else) that whoever became the 1st Browns free agent signing, that is who I'd name the boy after.  It could have gone a number of ways.  There were rumors of them resigning Peyton Hillis and there have been talks of the Browns going after Matt Flynn as a free agent.  Peyton or Matt wouldn't be the worst names in the world, I figured. 

But last week, the Browns signed their 1st free agent, and Emily (without knowledge of my agreement with myself) found out about it before I did.  (Which is a small miracle in and of itself.....given my astute attention to these sorts of things.)  I thought that was a terrific "sign" that this MUST be the correct name to name our boy. 

Does anyone know off hand who that free agent signing was?  It was a pretty big signing.  He was the starting middle linebacker for the Browns last year and he signed a new 5 year, $42 million contract. 

D'Qwell Rosenvold.  It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

As Long as a Banana

It's that time again.  Time to figure out how big our baby boy is.  Here is the exact paragraph from my "favorite" website:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measuremens are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

Without getting into my typical rant on whether or not the object suggested is actually the size they indicate (it isn't), I have found a few other things (by simple Google search) that I think might be a bit of a better indicator. 

Things that are roughly 10 inches long:

Or for those of you more into the Phish experience:

And for those of you with no imagination whatsoever (Scott):

My Hand.







20 Weeks

One Handsome Devil

My original plan was to videotape the ultrasound appointment yesterday.  I envisioned getting Emily's reaction to the news of what sex our baby was.  No sooner did I walk in the room, the technician saw the videocamera in my hand and told me that I wasn't allowed to video anything.  Plan foiled.

He did tell us that he would give us many pictures of our baby........which he did, but I was hoping for the reaction shot.  (It didn't disappoint.)

So here they are.....without further delay. 

Picture of his feet (Em is convinced he has my feet -- i.e. they're big)

Here is a pic of our little boy's thumb nail & hand

This pic is a profile of our baby facing down

The top picture is a pic of our baby smiling (at least that is what the tech said.)

The bottom picture is a profile pic with the baby facing up.

Can anyone question that this kid has serious potential as a model? 

Uncle Gen & Uncle Ang

It's like that old joke:

"I haven't found out whether my sister is having a boy or a girl, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be an Aunt or an Uncle."

Well, I can let Ang & Gen (Emily's sisters) know now that they are officially going to be Uncles. 

Not sure what this picture actually means, but it seemed appropriate with this entry.

For anyone who needs further clarification:



Awkward Family Photos.com

Em and I have decided not to do any pregnancy photos.  That isn't to say that there won't be ANY pregnancy photos.....just not the professional variety.  We will still track the pregnancy belly with photos of Em every few weeks or so, but we won't do any "staged" photos. 

The following photos are from the website AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.  If you don't know about it, I encourage you to visit the website today.  You won't be able to look away.  It is one of my favorite websites ever. 

If you happened to have any professional photos of you done during your pregnancy, I am not making fun of you.  I'm making fun of these photos below.  These are "genius"......in the worst possible way.

I'm no artist, but was the artist that painted this going for "creepy"?

I didn't think it could get worse than the one above.....until I saw the same idea only with what looks like a fully developed man

OK.  I can get behind this one.  But they probably should've painted the belly like a basketball or something.

Just in case, anyone had any questions on who the father was.

This one shows the difficulty of playing hide-n-go-seek while you're pregnant.

Who says you can't still be active at 9 months prego?  Your doctor?  Oh,...ok.

Honestly, there are so many questions I have about this one.  Maybe the biggest area of concern that I have is that this is their CHRISTMAS CARD!!!!!!!!!

I have to finish this quick, because we are late for an appointment with the airbrush guy.  I NEED to get this on Emily's belly pronto!

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.  (Side note:  there are even creepier ones on that website that I wasn't as comfortable putting onto this blog.  You have to see these.  They are tremendous.)

Grandpa Thore

I want to share a story via this blog about my paternal grandfather and "the cradle".  (You will see how it relates to my starting a family at the end.)

My paternal grandparents (Thore & Thea) had 6 kids.  They had 3 girls and 3 boys.  The 3 girls were the oldest, and the 3 boys were the youngest.  It went:  Carol, Jordyce, Joan, Don (my dad), Ron, and Bob. 

Carol had 4 children (3 boys and a girl), Jordyce had 3 boys, and Joan had a girl and a boy.  (All of these grandkids were older than any of my brothers and sisters except for Joan's boy).  The one thing my grandfather wanted was a grandson to carry on the Rosenvold name.  Of course his daughters had kids, but none of them had the last name of Rosenvold, of course. 

My mom had 2 daughters (who of course wouldn't carry the last name either).  Then they had me.  I happened to be the 1st grandson with the Rosenvold name.  My grand father was thrilled.  Here's a picture of him when he ran for sheriff. 

At this time in his life, he was very sick as (as my dad put it) he was "full of cancer".  When he found out that I was a boy, he hand made a baby cradle for me.  I believe he saw me one time when I was just a couple months old.  He died a few months later. 

When my grandmother died in the early 80's, my Aunt Carol saw the cradle and saved it for me for over 30 years.  A couple of years ago, I got the cradle into my possession.  I wasn't sure what to do with it.  It has a lot of sentimental value for me, but I wasn't sure if it was exactly the piece that you would actually have a baby sleep in or not. 

I decided that I would have the cradle rosemaled.  Rosemaling is a Norwegian word that means "decorative painting".  There are different types of rosemaling that are attributed to different areas of Norway.  I think having the cradle rosemaled will be a great way to commemorate my grandfather's (and my) heritage.  There is a type of rosemaling that comes from the area where he is from.  I think I am going to go with that type.  It's called Vest-Agder.  Here is a small sample of what this style looks like:

I found a lady in Wisconsin who has won several awards in this type of painting.  After hearing my story and seeing pictures of the cradle, she agreed that she wanted to paint it for me.  It is very time consuming and she is in high demand.  It's been about a year since we've been in contact with this lady, and just today I heard from her that she is just about ready to start the cradle. 

Here is a picture of the cradle as it is right now.  I will post pictures of the end result as well. 

My hope is that this is something that will become a family heirloom passed down in my family for generations to come. 

This is Getting Annoying

As most of you know, Em and I get weekly e-mail updates that tell us about the development of our child.  It also tells us roughly the size of our unborn child and compares it to some (usually) food item.  This week our child is 5 1/2 inches long from head to rump (per this website) and compares it to a bell pepper.  That leaves me with only 1 question:

What kind of mutant garden are they growing their produce? 

I went to the store yesterday with a tape measure to prove my theory.  There was not one bell pepper that was 5 1/2 inches long.  The average size was about 3 1/2 - 4 inches.  And if you compare the above picture of the bell pepper to the picture a couple entries down of the turnip (the 5 inches week), I think the turnip is actually bigger than the pepper.  This website is (to use a word from my high school days) wack.

From now on, I think I'm just going to find my own items to compare the size of my unborn child to.  I guarantee I can do a better job than this website.  I'll start with this weeks bell pepper fiasco.  I will limit my search to either a simple Google search or random household items.  You tell me if I can do a better job with this task than this website.  How am I supposed to trust any of the other information on this website if they can't read a tape measure? 

Here's my comparison.  It took me all of about 3 minutes.

This pen is approximately 5 1/2 inches long which is roughly the size of our unborn child -- head to rump. 

I feel so much better.

Super Powers

Superman - X-ray Vision, Super Strength, Heat Vision, Flight, etc...
Spiderman - Webslinging, Super Strength, Sticks to Walls, Spidey Sense
Thor - Can Summon Elements of a Storm, Flight, Time Travel, etc...
Batman - Extremely Wealthy so has very cool gadgets which help his crime fighting
The Flash - Fast
Wonder Woman - Bullet Proof Bracelets & Invisible Jet
Aquaman - Communicates with Sea Creatures & Can Breathe Underwater
Wolverine - Claws, Heals Quickly, Extreme Sense of Smell

I could go on and on.  (Actually, I really couldn't.....as I had to look up most of these "powers" on Wikipedia.) 

The question at hand is, "What is the Most Useless Super Power?"  Looking at that list above and even thinking of ones not on that list, I think I have the answer.

You might guess any of the following, Wonder Woman - An invisible jet....really?  And bullet proof bracelets do you no good if you can't get the bracelet to block the bullets.  Robin - What does he really do?  However, by pure proximity to the Bruce Wayne fortune, I guess he has the same "powers" as Batman.  Aquaman is probably a strong candidate for worst super powers.  I mean, have you ever been swimming in the ocean and just wished you could communicate with that fish you saw?  Do fish have anything interesting to say?  I can't imagine they do. 

No.  The most useless super power is my wife's new pregnancy "super power" of.......wait for it..........her heightened sense of smell.

She came up to me and gave me a hug yesterday as I was working on the computer and proudly proclaimed (after she took a big whiff of my arm), you didn't shower today did you?  Later that same evening she came home and opened the door to the ManCave and shouted, "I could smell dinner all the way from the garage!"  She couldn't have been prouder.  She seems to be sniffing quite a bit more than usual lately.  It's getting to be quite comical. 

All I can imagine now is that Superman and all the other heroes from the Hall of Justice are off on an adventure trying to find some bad guy.  They are at the entrance of a cave which they don't dare go in.....  Superman's X-ray vision won't work against these particular rock walls.  They don't know what to do.  They wonder aloud, "I wish we had someone with super smell who could tell where the bad guy is in this cave, or if he is even in this cave at all."  If they only knew my wife. 

My wife......the Super Hero.

I might need to think of a new Super Hero name for her.

How Big is a Turnip?

At 17 weeks, our baby is as big as a turnip.  That's clear for everyone, right?  Everyone knows how big a turnip is......I'm assuming.  I have no clue how big a turnip is.  I don't remember ever seeing them in the grocery store.  (Of course, there is no reason I would ever even look for one.)  After seeing the picture (below), I don't recall EVER seeing one of those.  In fact, I would have pictured something much different than that when I pictured a turnip.  (But my knowledge of most garden vegetables is limited to what was shown on Looney Toons cartoons.)

Couldn't they select a fruit, vegetable, or something different that is roughly 5 inches? Something that maybe more universally known than a turnip?  A quick Google search resulted in this:

Isn't that much better than a turnip? 

Why Didn't I Think of This Before?

I think a lot about what kind of father I am going to be nowadays.  Am I going to be the "bad cop" to Emily's "good cop"?  What kind of disciplinarian am I going to be?  What forms of punishment should we use?  Is bribery a good option to obtain a particular behavior from a child?  When all is said and done, the obvious goal is to have a respectful, caring, well behaved child.  Isn't it? 

I thought of the answer.

Several years ago, Em and I would periodically go to comedy shows at the "Funny Bone" in Omaha.  One of the comedians we saw was J. Medicine Hat.  He was a hypnotist.  Now, I'm naturally a skeptic when it comes to these types of things.  So, I went and viewed the show through the eyes of a cynic. 

The way it would work is he would call aroune 15-20 volunteers out of the audience.  He would sit them all around the stage and ask them to focus on his voice.  He would get them to fall into a sleep, and those who weren't responding or if he felt like someone was faking...he would dismiss them off the stage until he got a group of 6-10 "willing and able" participants.  Then the fun would begin.  At that time, he could get the people to do anything and everything for the audiences amusement. 

I actually spoke to someone who had been hypnotized on the stage and they told me that it was very real.  They had no recollection of their time on the stage and was showed the videotape of their "performance" later on.  They couldn't believe it.  I have to say that my conversation with them made me question my cynicism.

Now follow me on this logic.......how great would it be to hypnotize your kids VERY early on in their development.  With the ring of a bell.....they automatically clean their room.  Each time they talk back to their mother.....they feel an electric shock.  Potty training, sleeping through the night, monsters in the closet......all can be "cured" by hypnotism.  Think of the possibilities.

Now some of you are thinking, "How do you know that your child will be susceptible to hypnotism?"  Good question.  I'm glad you asked.  The one thing that I have heard is that the people who are most susceptible to hypnotism are the people who are open to suggestion and who will listen to the person doing the hypnotism.  Who is more open to suggestion than children?  This could be revolutionary. 

Now others of you are questioning the ethics of such a method.  But I ask you, haven't all of you parents used bribery with your kids?  Is that ethical?  (I know of at least one story of one of you that involved M&Ms being used to bribe your kid(s) to go potty.)  Haven't the majority (my mom excluded) of us lied to your kids the existence of Santa Claus?  Aren't we all just wanting the very best for our children?  Don't we want them to experience the joy of a magical Christmas or wanting them to use the potty by themselves so they won't feel the need to change their own diaper in the middle of a board meeting?  Of course. 

The point is that parenting is a difficult, sometimes strenuous job with the goal of teaching your children the ways of life and to get them to grow up as moral, upright citizens who you can be proud of. 

Hypnotism may be the answer.