The Baby from Atlantis

Years ago, when my brother Chad & I were kids, we would watch cartoons / tv every Saturday morning.  It was basically the only time of the week when we were allowed and/or had control of the tv.  (I don't say "control of the tv remote" because this was before we had a remote).  Anyway, each Saturday around noon, a local television duo (The Big Chuck and Lil John Show) would air their movie of the week.  The highlight of the show were the funny skits that Big Chuck & Lil John would do before and after the commercial breaks.  The movie was merely an annoying disruption in between the skits.  The movies they selected for their movie of the week were typically in the "B" movie genre.  Movies such as Wolfman meets Frankenstein or some other horrible excuse for wasting a Saturday.  However, a very popular tv show they would air was "A Man from Atlantis".  This horrible show was about a man from the mythical under-the-sea city of Atlantis and he has come to help people fix their problems or fight crime....(I can't really remember).  All I remember of it was that inevitably in each episode there was a specific duty that called for Patrick Duffy to jump in the water and swim incredibly fast using his webbed hands and feet (because he came from Atlantis).  I'm still unclear how there were so many times where this skillset actually saved lives each and every week.....but it did. 

Having said all that......our child is 7 weeks along and has.......wait for it.......wait for it........webbed hands and feet.  How exciting!  Here is the except from the article:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

Did you read that?  His hands and feet are more like "paddles".  Man, how Patrick Duffy would be jealous.  We might have the next Michael Phelps on our hands. 

....and don't get me started on "the size of a blueberry". 

One Down...One To Go

We just got back from spending Thanksgiving with my family.  We spent an entire week back in Ohio to go to a wedding of one of my cousins the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  We were around family the entire week, and nobody figured out that Em was pregnant.  Thank goodness!!  But this is the easy one.  The true test will be if we can pull off Christmas with her family....when she is another month along....and her sisters knowing her body much better than my family does (obviously).  If we can make it through Christmas, we're in the clear and able to let everyone know at the appropriate time. 
Em & I have had multiple conversations about how we are going to let our families know that she is pregnant.  I think we have decided that I would let my family know in a way that I want to tell them, and she will tell her family in a way she wants to tell them.  I have my way decided already.....and, in my opinion, it's classic.....and original.

Maury Povich

Who would turn down a free vacation to Connecticut?  Answer:  Emily.

I thought it would be a great idea to call the Maury Povich show and make up a story about how we aren't sure who the father is of our baby.  (I figured calling my wife's fidelity into question......just to get a free trip to Connecticut might be worth it.....even though I have no question that she is faithful.)  She promptly turned the idea down (as I figured she might), but I got a couple minutes of enjoyment when I broached the subject to her and seeing the horrified expression on her face as she was trying to figure out if I was serious or not. 

For some reason, I love asking difficult questions and getting a reaction.  (I ask my mom at least once every time I see her, "If you were stranded in a boat that was sinking with me and one of her other kids.....and she could only choose one to save.....which one she would choose.  She hates that question......but inevitably chooses the other one  -- not named Darin.)

Well, now I'll only have to dream of Maury screaming in that emphatic voice that only he can do, "Darin, YOU ARE THE FATHER!!"

Sesame Seed?

OK, so Em just forwarded me a website that you can register with and they will e-mail you updates on what your baby is doing that week.  For example, I just registered today and because our baby is 5 weeks along, I just found out that it is the size of a sesame seed.  How comforting.  I'm fairly certain that I'll never be able to eat another Big Mac ever again (not that I ever ate them before), but I'll definitely not be able to sing the Big Mac song ever again without thinking of our baby being that size.  (2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a SESAME SEED bun).  I'm pretty proud of myself that I remembered that.  There were some other interesting facts on that website (other than the sesame seed comment), but I won't bore you with the details.  For your enjoyment, I have included a computerized picture of our baby.  His/her 1st picture!!  Prepare your photo albums!

THE Bambino's 1st Book

I think it is rather obvious how this child is going to be raised.......the right way.

5 Weeks Along

Am I Dreaming?

OK, so it isn't every day that I find out that my wife is pregnant with our first child.  I wish I had a do-over.

All I remember is that I was dead asleep and Emily woke me up by calling my name from the doorway to our bedroom.  I'm a fairly light sleeper but at 6:00 in the morning, after I stayed up way too late watching as much coverage of the Penn State scandal that I could on tv, I didn't even hear my wife get out of bed...which is odd.  I usually wake up when she does so much as shift in bed because if she happens to roll over....I only have about a second and a half before I lose my covers if she happens to roll in that direction. 

So, she calls my name and I kinda wake up.  Then, much to my chagrin, she turns on the light.  Now my eyes are burning and I can't see anything.  I can't remember if my eyes are closed or if I had the covers over my head to ease me into the blinding horror that is the shock of waking up that way.  I was half expecting the next thing on the way was to be a cold bucket of water in my face.  Instead of the water, I got......"Darin......I'm pregnant." 

I don't remember what I said or if I said anything at all.  All I remember is that I woke up the next morning wondering if it was a dream.  I'm sure my response....or lack thereof wasn't exactly the response that Em had hoped for, but I'm excited now that it has all sunk in. 

I'm sure this won't be the last boneheaded incident I will make these next several months but if I can limit the number of them as best as I can I think that will make it a much easier pregnancy for the both of us.

July 11th, 2012 is the expected date  (Em's birthday).