Important!! Please Read

OK. So, I guess the US Postal Service is faster than UPS.  I never would have guessed that but it's true.  Emily and I sent all of our baby notification stuff on the same day.  All of her stuff (sent by USPS) arrived today.  None of the stuff I sent has arrived yet.  And thanks to the New Years Postal holiday being on Monday the 2nd, they won't get their stuff till Tuesday the 3rd.  (And one package won't arrive till the 4th.)

So, knowing the above information, please don't post any congratulatory messages on my Facebook page.....yet.  I just don't want my family to find out in any other way other than the way intended. 

Thank you all for the fantastic text messages and e-mails back to Em.  She was checking them out and reading them during dinner.  It was fun to hear from all of you.  Thanks again. 

Prego

Tomorrow is the day that Em and I are sending packages/letters to our immediate family.  As I explained in an earlier post, Em and I are not choosing the same vehicle to let our families know of her pregnancy.  Here is my way:

Each Prego jar will be accompanied with a paper that has this website address.  Hopefully, the exact website address isn't too cryptic for someone to figure out. 

If you received a Prego jar (or a letter, card, or e-mail) directing you to this website, please join the website and make comments as you see fit. 

If you haven't figured it out by reading my earlier blog entries, this is a blog done by me and is my thoughts through this whole process.  I'll try to keep it light and humorous, but if you don't get my humor....you can still read (I guess.)  (That last sentence was for one of my sisters.  They know who they are.)

Hope you enjoy.

The Voice of the People

The grocery store that I shop at has finally heard my cries of insensitive gender stereotypes.  They finally changed their sign that read "Mommy w/ Infant Parking" to the following:

Justice has been served! 

12 Weeks

We Made It!

We had a Thanksgiving trip to Ohio with my family and we had no comments about Em being pregnant.

We had a Christmas trip to Nebraska with Em's family and we had no comments about Em being pregnant.  (Actually Em told me there were a couple of funny comments about Em being pregnant from her sisters but she didn't think they were being serious at all.  They made similar comments when it was completely obvious that Em wasn't pregnant.) 

One of the main things Em & I were worried about was the hot tub at her parent's house.  Normally, we make a point out of getting at least 1 dip in the hot tub each time we are there.  So, it was a conversation that Em & I had prior to going as to how we would handle turning down the opportunity to soak in the hot tub this time.  (Because Em is not allowed to be in a hot tub while she is pregnant.  I guess the baby doesn't find it as relaxing as his/her parents do.)  Thankfully, the subject of the hot tub did not come up this trip.  So, we never even had to use our well thought out lies. 

Gerry & Nancy's hot tub is MUCH better than this.

So, I'm guessing that once people start finding out, we will get the inevitable comments such as: "Oh, I totally new it.", or "I kinda figured it, but I didn't want to say anything just in case Em wasn't really pregnant." 

We'll see how it all works out soon.  The letters/packages are going to be mailed at the end of this week.

Pregnancy Symptoms

I started this blog as I wanted to write down my experiences from MY perspective.  If anything offends you that I write....you only have me to blame.  I say all that because I need to make that abundantly clear before I write today's entry.  This is from MY perspective.....and I think it is hilarious and, yes, even cute (which is a word I don't use often).

For the last 4-5 weeks Em has been experiencing cravings and other "symptoms" of pregnancy.  Now some of these symptoms are 100% legitimate and not to be questioned.  This blog entry is dedicated to "the others". 

Many of you know that I am an uncle yet again.  My latest little nephew arrived in October.  I went to visit my brother and his girlfriend, Jenna, about a month before she was due.  We started talking about food cravings and she shared with me an odd craving that she was having that I found particularly fascinating.  She had a major craving for........wait for it..........sand.  That's right.  Sand!  Like what you find at a beach.  Just to be fair, I don't think she ever actually satisfied that craving, but the craving itself is very funny. 

Now having said that.....let's fast forward to my wife's cravings. 

I've heard of women who craved odd pairings like ice cream and tuna fish or pickles and saur kraut or something like that.  These women crave things that they never (in their right mind) would ever even think about.  What does Em crave?  Ice Cream.  Twizzlers.  Grapefruit juice.  Sour candy.  So, in other words, everything she loved before she was preganant.......she is "craving" now.  How odd!?!?!  I like to tease her that those things are not "cravings" but just an excuse to eat more of what you always enjoyed.  (I know better than to press her too much on that....just enough to show her that I'm jokiing about it.)

She is also "shocked" by how tired she is, but I try to remind her that she always needed more sleep and when she doesn't get her slotted 10+ hours of sleep she always slept more the following day.  However, I've learned not to push that issue and just let her say it's because she's pregnant. 

A little less than 7 months to go.......I'm buying stock in every ice cream company that is publically traded.

Liar Liar

We have entered the hardest part of this pregnancy for me.  (OK, that might be a little dramatic.  I've heard that whole "labor" thing is fairly difficult too.)  I guess what I mean by that is we are in the time frame when we still aren't telling anyone that Em is pregnant but it seems like everyone is asking.  I hate lying, but I have to come to terms with it for this brief period of time. 

We've agreed to not let anyone in on this and it is very difficult.  Even people who we haven't seen for a long time are just flat out asking if Em is pregnant.  So, it isn't even that she is showing at all.  Em told me yesterday that one of her friends who she hasn't seen in a long time called her up and asked if she was pregnant.  The reason she called to ask was because the previous night, she had a dream that Em was pregnant.  How weird is that?  Crazy. 

Now a days, you can't even get away with giving evasive answers.  That gives you away almost as quickly as the truth. 

If you are reading this....and we lied to you, I'm sorry.  It was nothing personal and I hope you understand.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Em & I don't know the sex of the baby yet (of course), but we already have a plan for the name of the baby.  We just made a deal last night that IF the baby is a girl we go with the name that Emily is "obsessed" with for a girl name, BUT if the baby is a boy.....I have total control of what the baby's name is.  Now I just have to choose from this list:

Dion
Jamaal
Urban
Thor
Cleveland (maybe that is a middle name?)
I could go on and on.........

My mind is working harder than when I took Epistemology, Apologetics, and Metaphysics in the same quarter in college. 

Now we just need to ensure that this baby is a boy......

Two Hearts that Beat as One

Doctor humor isn't always the best humor.  Yesterday, Em & I went to her 1st ultrasound appointment where we would hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time.  The doctor came in and made a joke.....(at least I think it was a joke) that we are going to hear how many heartbeats there are!!!!  That didn't sit well with me.  All I could think of was that sappy 80's song by Stacey Q "Two of Hearts".  The line that kept circling around in my head was "Two Hearts that Beat as One".  Not funny.  I know that that song isn't even about twins (or triplets, or octoplets, or anything like that), but I can't help that that is what was in my head.

THANK GOODNESS that the doctor only heard 1 heartbeat and only 1 "blob" (as the doctor said) on the monitor!!! 

How did that old commercial go?  "How do you spell relief?"  Well, I can unquestionably spell it this way: 
O-N-E_H-E-A-R-T-B-E-A-T

Here's the Bambino's 1st photo:

Looks just like me.

The Baby from Atlantis

Years ago, when my brother Chad & I were kids, we would watch cartoons / tv every Saturday morning.  It was basically the only time of the week when we were allowed and/or had control of the tv.  (I don't say "control of the tv remote" because this was before we had a remote).  Anyway, each Saturday around noon, a local television duo (The Big Chuck and Lil John Show) would air their movie of the week.  The highlight of the show were the funny skits that Big Chuck & Lil John would do before and after the commercial breaks.  The movie was merely an annoying disruption in between the skits.  The movies they selected for their movie of the week were typically in the "B" movie genre.  Movies such as Wolfman meets Frankenstein or some other horrible excuse for wasting a Saturday.  However, a very popular tv show they would air was "A Man from Atlantis".  This horrible show was about a man from the mythical under-the-sea city of Atlantis and he has come to help people fix their problems or fight crime....(I can't really remember).  All I remember of it was that inevitably in each episode there was a specific duty that called for Patrick Duffy to jump in the water and swim incredibly fast using his webbed hands and feet (because he came from Atlantis).  I'm still unclear how there were so many times where this skillset actually saved lives each and every week.....but it did. 

Having said all that......our child is 7 weeks along and has.......wait for it.......wait for it........webbed hands and feet.  How exciting!  Here is the except from the article:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

Did you read that?  His hands and feet are more like "paddles".  Man, how Patrick Duffy would be jealous.  We might have the next Michael Phelps on our hands. 

....and don't get me started on "the size of a blueberry". 

One Down...One To Go

We just got back from spending Thanksgiving with my family.  We spent an entire week back in Ohio to go to a wedding of one of my cousins the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  We were around family the entire week, and nobody figured out that Em was pregnant.  Thank goodness!!  But this is the easy one.  The true test will be if we can pull off Christmas with her family....when she is another month along....and her sisters knowing her body much better than my family does (obviously).  If we can make it through Christmas, we're in the clear and able to let everyone know at the appropriate time. 
Em & I have had multiple conversations about how we are going to let our families know that she is pregnant.  I think we have decided that I would let my family know in a way that I want to tell them, and she will tell her family in a way she wants to tell them.  I have my way decided already.....and, in my opinion, it's classic.....and original.

Maury Povich

Who would turn down a free vacation to Connecticut?  Answer:  Emily.

I thought it would be a great idea to call the Maury Povich show and make up a story about how we aren't sure who the father is of our baby.  (I figured calling my wife's fidelity into question......just to get a free trip to Connecticut might be worth it.....even though I have no question that she is faithful.)  She promptly turned the idea down (as I figured she might), but I got a couple minutes of enjoyment when I broached the subject to her and seeing the horrified expression on her face as she was trying to figure out if I was serious or not. 

For some reason, I love asking difficult questions and getting a reaction.  (I ask my mom at least once every time I see her, "If you were stranded in a boat that was sinking with me and one of her other kids.....and she could only choose one to save.....which one she would choose.  She hates that question......but inevitably chooses the other one  -- not named Darin.)

Well, now I'll only have to dream of Maury screaming in that emphatic voice that only he can do, "Darin, YOU ARE THE FATHER!!"

Sesame Seed?

OK, so Em just forwarded me a website that you can register with and they will e-mail you updates on what your baby is doing that week.  For example, I just registered today and because our baby is 5 weeks along, I just found out that it is the size of a sesame seed.  How comforting.  I'm fairly certain that I'll never be able to eat another Big Mac ever again (not that I ever ate them before), but I'll definitely not be able to sing the Big Mac song ever again without thinking of our baby being that size.  (2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a SESAME SEED bun).  I'm pretty proud of myself that I remembered that.  There were some other interesting facts on that website (other than the sesame seed comment), but I won't bore you with the details.  For your enjoyment, I have included a computerized picture of our baby.  His/her 1st picture!!  Prepare your photo albums!

THE Bambino's 1st Book

I think it is rather obvious how this child is going to be raised.......the right way.

5 Weeks Along

Am I Dreaming?

OK, so it isn't every day that I find out that my wife is pregnant with our first child.  I wish I had a do-over.

All I remember is that I was dead asleep and Emily woke me up by calling my name from the doorway to our bedroom.  I'm a fairly light sleeper but at 6:00 in the morning, after I stayed up way too late watching as much coverage of the Penn State scandal that I could on tv, I didn't even hear my wife get out of bed...which is odd.  I usually wake up when she does so much as shift in bed because if she happens to roll over....I only have about a second and a half before I lose my covers if she happens to roll in that direction. 

So, she calls my name and I kinda wake up.  Then, much to my chagrin, she turns on the light.  Now my eyes are burning and I can't see anything.  I can't remember if my eyes are closed or if I had the covers over my head to ease me into the blinding horror that is the shock of waking up that way.  I was half expecting the next thing on the way was to be a cold bucket of water in my face.  Instead of the water, I got......"Darin......I'm pregnant." 

I don't remember what I said or if I said anything at all.  All I remember is that I woke up the next morning wondering if it was a dream.  I'm sure my response....or lack thereof wasn't exactly the response that Em had hoped for, but I'm excited now that it has all sunk in. 

I'm sure this won't be the last boneheaded incident I will make these next several months but if I can limit the number of them as best as I can I think that will make it a much easier pregnancy for the both of us.

July 11th, 2012 is the expected date  (Em's birthday).